Thai Cookery

Quips and Insights from Pert, our Thai Cooking Instructor

Pert picked us up in his modified pickup truck…the back had a roof on it, and a padded board on both sides so that customers could sit “comfortably” while being transported to his cooking school. Fortunately, Tanya and I were picked up first, so we got to sit up front in air conditioned comfort, as our comrades in the back from Italy, Ireland and Holland enjoyed the limited view from behind.

I had just yesterday seen local Thai men walking in the drainage canal with a fish net. Turns out they were netting small fish and slimy eels. I asked if Thai’s frequently ate eels. He ignored my question altogether and remarked gleefully “He was Mister Unhappy”!! Why? Because he was EEL”. Hahahahhahahahahhahaha (ill). Yeah, it took me a few minutes to figure this out as well.

He said that locals out in the country would eat eels, but generally not the city Thais.

Interesting fact: I asked about the difference between Northern and Southern Thai cuisine. Southern Thai is coconut milk based and Northern, water / broth based. Reason: Its only been recent decades that they’ve had coconut trees in Northern Thailand. Since there is no animal large enough to consume, transport and excrete a coconut (which is how many other tree species are propogated), there was no way for coconut seeds to get planted up north.

Ha is Thai for “five”.

At the Market, Pert was pointing out all of the different Thai fruits, vegetables and herbs we’d be using. He came across a mounds and mounds of chicken eggs. There was a stack of smaller eggs for 95 baht, medium eggs for 110 baht, and larger eggs for 130 baht. He then asked “Which eggs are the best to use?” Long silence. He then points to the smaller eggs and claims. Why? Because they’re cheaper. Hahahaha-hhahahahahaa (Pert always laughs longest and loudest at his own jokes)….. Actually, he uses the smaller eggs because he says they come from younger, healthier chickens. The eggs are thus “tastier”. Older hens lay larger eggs, but they’re older and thus not in as good health.

He then pointed to a set of Pink Eggs that carried the label “horse pee” eggs. These are eggs that have been soaked for a lengthy period of time in something like lye. They become black and solid inside, and when you remove the shell, they smell like horse pee. Apparently, these are delicious in soups and salads, especially for those who are partial to horse pee smell.

Fresh eggs come to the market dirty. They should not be washed off until you’re going to use them. Keeping them dirty helps them last longer.

Pert pointed at a large pot of water that huge Tilapia swimming happily in it, in spite of the fact that they were awaiting their demise. He then pointed to a pan right next to the Tilapia. It was full of catfish with barely enough water to just cover their their bodies …there was no swimming room. Pert asked our group: “Why is it the Tilapia have plenty of water to swim, and the catfish have none?” Silence… Then pointing to the old woman working the market stall, he says “because Ming Tee is busy and hasn’t finished putting water in the pot.. hahahahahhaha-hahahahahahahahah Actually, its because catfish have sharp fins, and if they have more water, they will swim aggressively and cut each other up making them less attractive to sell.

Our cooking class contained 17 students from Holland, Ireland, Italy, Australia, Nicaragua, the UK, and of course, ME. After Pert’s entertaining market tour, we retired to his home out in the “suburbs” where he had built his house / cooking school . Each student has their own cooking space, utensils, everything. Throughout the day, we all made Thai specialties, some collectively as a group (Pert doing, us watching) and others individually.

AT 3 pm, we gathered in front of his house, sat at long tables, and enjoyed the dishes we’d created. IT was quite a feast.
Between the two of us, Tanya and I jointly prepared:
Spring rolls
Hot & Spicy soup with Prawns
Coconut chicken soup
Green Papaya Salad
Red Curry Chicken
Panang Curry and Tofu
Minced Pork with Holy Basil Leaf
Drunken Noodles
Pad Thai
Coconut sticky rice with Mango
Chicken with Cashews
Pineapple fried rice